As I sit here and watch you sleep I am thinking if you are happy with your life? You will be 18 years old in May and I wonder if you will make it until then.
I know being old you will need to sleep more and that cats sleep A LOT anyway but is that enough? I’m considering your quality of life and it’s a combination of so many things; I know you’re eating and drinking, still going out to the toilet yourself, still mobile and able to jump, still seeking affection, still going to watch the world go by out of the window which you always loved. Plus you are still having inquisitive moments when there is something different like a new cardboard box or the furniture has been moved. Sometimes you look at me and I can see it is still you, you’re ok.
But I also see you are eating more but still losing weight, when you drink it dribbles down your chin and when you move your back legs have lost muscle and you cannot jump so high anymore. And sometimes, you seem to forget you have eaten or why you have entered a room, you stare with wide eyes and I can see something is different. It’s not all the time and I tell myself you are elderly for a cat so decline is expected but I don’t want you to suffer.
You were so tiny when I first got you, you fit on the palm of my hand and I find it hard to remember a time without you. You were my first pet when I moved to my own house and we have been through so much together.
You have always had health problems and been treated by the vets but now I start to wonder if the stress is worth it. More conditions are likely developing with age but do I really want to put you through all that?
I remember the struggle we had 6 years ago when we decided to ‘put to sleep’ your best friend, our first dog. I am even more mindful and determined that I will know when it is time for you. I worry that you will leave the house and just never come back or have a crisis in the night but I desperately want to be there for you. When the time comes, I have my ideal plan for you but I know life is not always ideal so I will have to take it as it comes. I hope I have prepared enough, for you and for myself.
If you are to be put to sleep it will be my decision alone, no one else will make it for me. I’m hoping there will be a definitive sign but I also am aware that may never com.
I know you so well but will I know when it is time?
A time where you can no longer move about, a time where your behaviour changes, a time you no longer want to eat or when there is a certain look in your eyes…
I feel incredibly sad already sometimes when I look at you, knowing you may not be here soon but I know we loved each other deeply for a long time and I have to be thankful for that.
This makes me so sad as I am having this reaction when I look at her she is also old 17 I don’t want her to suffer but I don’t want her to leave me I love her so much
Thank you for reading, I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. It is never going to be easy, we can only do what we feel is right for our pet.
I am in this place right now. I would like to have a copy of this so I can read it whenever I feel low. She is a beautiful black long coat cat and she is 17. The words are so true, and I am already sad that I may have to make a decision. Thank you
Thank you for reading, i am so sorry to hear of your sadness. It is such a difficult concept to grasp isn’t it? We love them as much as any other family member, yet we alone make this decision our beloved pets. We don’t want to be without them but have to do what is best for them.
Wow, I’m so sad and sorry reading this. I feel as if this could of been written by me. My cat Stella is 20 with kidney failure. I totally understand and feel all of your pain. She was the first pet I bought when I moved into my first flat. She’s been through the best and worst parts of my life and I can not imagine my life without her, but I also know I will 100% do the right thing for her if and when I need to. I have recently signed up to this service as I need to try and prepare myself for this inevitable day. I hope it’s still a long way off. I hope your beautiful baby is still happy and healthy.
Dear Carly, I’m so sorry to hear about Stella. My hope when writing this was that people would not feel alone in their struggle and to validate feelings of grief and in decision. I know it is never easy but it is good to be prepared. I am lucky enough to still have my Baby but i am still watching and waiting as it were, we just need to try to enjoy the time we have left with them. Warmest wishes, Jess
I am desperately sad, my cat is on my lap as I type this, I know she is at the end of her life she is 19 yrs old, I love her so much but I know I have to do the right thing for her, she is now starting to suffer ! Its Friday night and I need to find a vet tomorrow, I just dont know how Im going to cope
Dear Nora, I’m so sorry to hear this, it must have been very difficult for you. I hope you managed to find what you needed but if not you can email us at [email protected] or call on 0333 320 8731. Warmest wishes, The Dignipets Team
Thank you Jess for your kind words yesterday when I spoke to you.
Misty was 21 yrs old and only recently was showing signs that she couldn’t cope with her day-to-day life, struggling with arthritis and deafness, and very recently so frail and weak that she was unable to keep herself clean. She too looked at me with eyes that said “please let me go Mum, I can’t go on any more” ….
So I made the call to your office and had the most wonderful man come and take care of her. I knew I was doing the right thing, she told me so.
Thank you and your wonder vet for the services provided. Today I am devastated, and I probably will be for a long time to come, but at least I said “good bye” with Misty in my arms, and she will remain in my thoughts and heart forever.
Dear Wendy,
Thank you so much for taking the time to message, i will pass on your comments to the vet as i know it will mean a lot to him.
We understand it will be really difficult for you but Misty will always be in your heart and i’m glad we were able to help take care of her at the end.
We would recommend the blue cross pet bereavement service if you need someone to talk to and you can leave a memorial to Misty on our Website if you wish.
Warmest wishes, Jess